Official testing day

Pregnancy test was negative and I also started bleeding last night. So exactly the same scenario like last time. We are absolutely gutted.

5dp2dt

Everything is good, everything is cool. I don't feel any different apart from sore boobs and yesterday night I was sweating a lot. I'm also quite grumpy and bitchy. And I absolutely looove toast with ricotta and basil pesto. Eight days till official testing day!

Day 2 embryo transfer

Right after we got to the clinic, we were told there is about 30 minutes delay. Ok, cool. I was so nervous. They took us through exactly at 2:30pm, half hour after our arrival time. In the theatre we had a little chat with Adam, the embryologist. He said our little embryo is developing and they gave it 3/4 grade where 4/4 would be the best so we were very happy and relieved. The transfer itself was quick and painless like last time. On our way back in the car we were reassuring each other again that this is the one, it's definitely going to work. This one is our little superman.

Still don't know the final result but...

Embryologist called at 8:20am even though we were told it would be after 9am. I missed the call but they called Rick straight away. Out of our six collected eggs they were able to perform ICSI on 4 and out of these 4 only one fertilised. They are going to call us later today about the time for tomorrow as we are now aiming for day 2 transfer. I'm devastated.

Egg collection

We got to the clinic for 8am. Went to the theatre around 9:15am. All was good, I asked the doctor to be a little gentler with the speculum as it was quite painful last time. Had a little sleep and we're ready to leave by half 11. Only 6 eggs were collected so now the only thing we can do is wait for the phone call from the embryology tomorrow. Fingers crossed all of them were mature and available for ICSI.

Chaos... Again?!

Like if it wasn't enough that I'm stressing about the egg collection tomorrow, I got a phone call from the clinic today. It was quite odd because straight away when I saw 'private number' on my phone display, I knew it was the clinic. But they already gave me time for tomorrow so I wondered what they needed with me. Actually, they called to give me time for my endometrial scratch for tomorrow. Funny, right? Honestly, it got me mad. I wasn't rude at the nurse on the phone, of course not. I just told her that I already had it and that it's my egg collection tomorrow. She even asked me when I had it then. Told her it was 21st June. Then she was all like "haha, ignore everything I said, there is no point in you having it again if you already had it". Right. I know because I'm so much further in my treatment already. We got to talk to someone about all these chaotic unprofessional hiccups on their side during this second cycle. It's really making me think nobody knows what's happening and that something is going to go very wrong.

Trigger time

Scan went ok today. After 25 minutes waiting we were taken through and saw my right ovary stagnating again and my left one plummeting again. One follicle was 24mm, which didn't happen last cycle. I was told it's trigger time for me today. Yay.
After the scan we went downstairs to the ward for the intralipid infusion. We waited a bit more and then had my blood pressure and temperature measured, read and signed a few forms and we were ready. The cannula hurt but nothing terrible. The infusion looked like milk, haha. It was basically just soya, fat and oils. It's supposed to help with implantation if IVF failed before or after having miscarriage in the past. Let's hope it works.
After the intralipids we went back upstairs to outpatient department and waited for the pharmacy. I got my last Zomacton and Ovitrelle (trigger). Finally, at 4pm we were allowed to go home.
Later today I got a phone call with information about time for the trigger which is in about 17 minutes, at 9:30pm and some information about Wednesday egg collection. Getting up at 6am that day as we are supposed to be at the clinic at 8am. Whoohoo.

S9, a bit disappointed

At the scan today my right ovary for me looked worse than 2 days ago. There is one quite a big follicle, it has around 14mm, and four smaller ones under 10mm. The left ovary looked much better, one follicle over 16mm and about seven smaller ones between 14 and 11mm. The nurse said it's going nice and steady which is what we want but I feel like the Zomacton injections are not working as they should. Next scan is on Monday which will be S12, which is one day more than last time when I had trigger. Hopefully the timeframe is going to be very similar to the last cycle. Intralipids are scheduled for Monday as well. If I do trigger on Monday, the egg collection is going to be Wednesday and 5d transfer on Monday after, yay.

S7, first monitoring scan

It was my first monitoring scan yesterday. No waiting again, we were taken through straight away. It was a new nurse doing the scan. All good, follicles are growing, it's very similar to the first cycle. Left ovary is better again. The nurse asked a doctor to review my notes in case they wanted to increase my dose of Gonal F but they didn't. Next scan is tomorrow and then on Monday.

S4 = Rainbow belly

S4 means stimulation day number 4. I'm on two, respectively three injections a day (the extra one is Zomacton, which is somatotropin - human growth hormone, which I'm having every other day). I already don't know where to put another needle because my lower belly looks like a rainbow. Just with three colours though - purple, blue and yellow, depending on the stage of the bruise. They are small, not like the massive one I made last cycle. My left side of belly still hurts, right one is fine. Since the start of stimulation phase the buserelin injections have been bitches, some of them hurt so so much. Hopefully there is only about a week left, the first monitoring scan is on Wednesday.

Baseline scan

Today we went for the baseline scan. When we got there, they were already waiting for us, no waiting time whatsoever which was nice but it kind of made me feel that we came late although we still had 5 odd minutes spare.

Two nurses took me through which was unusual but it looked like the one who was actually doing the scan was learning. The second nurse I recognised but didn't remember her name. Oh well. Scan went well, not too uncomfortable at this stage. I wasn't told exactly how many follicles she could see but apparently it was good number on each side, left ovary being the 'better' one again. Lining was thin as well so we were given all clear for starting Gonal F injections from today. Yay!

After the scan we waited only a few minutes until a nurse from pharmacy picked us up in the waiting room. I got two big white paper bags full of drugs. There was Gonal F, then Zomacton with two sets of needles plus syringes, then aspirin and folic acid. I already did my injections today, 'only' two but tomorrow it will be full house - all three injections plus the tablets. Can't wait.

Pill worked

My last pill was on Tuesday 21st of June and my period started on Sunday 26th. So no stressing about delayed bleeding before baseline scan. That's scheduled for this Thursday. Let's hope my lining is thin enough so I'll be able to start stimulation straight away.
My mum came over for almost a week and left on Thursday. As we were coming home from the airport around 6pm, I started having the worst headache in my life. I never had migraines so can't tell if it was like one but it was terrible. I felt sick, I couldn't get comfortable and two paracetamols didn't help. After about two hours of torture I asked Rick to call out of hours emergency number to ask if we should go to hospital if it was related to the treatment drugs. The doctor on call got back to us really quickly and said it's nothing to worry about as I was on buserelin for 10 days already and also this is our second cycle. I fell asleep after all and when I woke up at 11pm, I was fine. Hopefully I will never get the same pain ever in my life.

Endometrial scratch

I was supposed to get a phone call on Saturday to confirm time of the procedure. No one bothered. I left them a voice mail on Saturday night. A nurse called me this morning around 8:20 and told me to come at 1pm with a comfortably full bladder.
When we got there, we were sat in the corridor by quite a grumpy nurse who told us that someone will take care of us soon. After 15 minutes another nurse asked us if we were being helped. My bladder was very full by then. After another few minutes we were taken through to a tiny room just to have a little chat about what's going to happen today. We had a little moan about what's been happening, how chaotic and unprofessional the team has been. She asked us if we wanted to talk to someone just to put our minds to peace and we agreed. We saw noone.
We were taken to the waiting room and my bladder started screaming, we ended up waiting another 20 minutes. After that another nurse picked me up and took me to the same theatre I had my embryo transfer done. The doctor and yet another nurse were very lovely. I got changed into a theatre gown and got on the chair. The procedure itself took maybe 3 minutes. The scratching part was quite painful, short intense pain but as quickly as it arrived, it was gone. A few seconds of pain and we were done. It wasn't bad at all. The best part of it all was I could go to the toilet straight after. Back in the waiting room I got my antibiotic tablets (just routine) and we were free to go. We went upstairs to the pharmacy to pick up my medications. We got to the check in point and again, we were not on the system. I was getting quite annoyed by that point. They took us to the waiting room though and even gave us a free coffee (in our case hot chocolate) token. Yay. Within a few minutes a nice nurse picked me up and took me through. I got my buserelin, syringes and sharps box so I'm all good to go and start my injections tomorrow. :) Baseline scan is scheduled for July 7th.

Ready, set and... Countdown!

After I sent the email to the clinic on Wednesday, I got a phone call from them about an hour later. The nurse was quite confused/confusing because according to my notes I started the down regulation for IVF #2 on 26/04! I couldn't believe they actually thought that when it was the same team who told me to wait for my next period and cancelled the treatment after I started bleeding on day 18. She told me that she was going to have a doctor review my notes and that she would call me back later that day. She never did.
I though to myself, they are probably busy, she is definitely going to call me on Thursday or send me an email. No, nothing happened. Rick was starting to get a bit annoyed as well so he said he was going to call them. All good, they are going to let us know. Cool.
Went to walk our new puppy (Alfie, the German sheprador) and didn't hear my phone ring. I had a voicemail saying that the doctor wants me to start oral contraceptive pill as soon as possible and that I will have to go there to collect them if I don't have any. To be honest, birth control pills are not a thing to be found in my cupboard when we are trying to have a baby... Haha.
I got all panicky because I remember when I was younger and on the pill, they have to be taken from day 1. It was too late to go to the clinic so would have to go the next day (today) which would already be my day 3. I thought that we would have to wait for my next cycle AGAIN to plan the treatment. But fortunately the nurses told me that missing just a couple of pills is fine since I'm taking them only to regulate my hormones and make sure that I'll bleed before my baseline scan. So today I'll start taking the pill and I'll be going back to the clinic on 20/06 for endometrial scratch and will start down regulation on 21/06.

Finally... Auntie Flo came

After 39 days I can finally say that my period started. I have been very irritable and quite a bitch to be honest for the last week. When I called the clinic last time, I asked if my period should start normally after about 4 weeks after the unexpected period which started on day 18 of my last cycle. The nurse said yes. And yet here we are, more than a week later. I'll send them email again tomorrow about my 'progress' and I'm planning on including my AF schedule since the unsuccessful treatment in February. Just to let them know that my cycle has been very irregular and I think it might affect the treatment plan since it is all based on regular cycles. I'm not sure what I want them to reply. Whether I want them to check me to see if everything is fine or readjust the treatment dates according to my cycles now or whether to continue as planned (buserelin starting on day 21, no baseline scan...). We'll see tomorrow, hopefully they'll answer quickly.

Overwhelmed

Everybody around me is getting pregnant or already had a baby. Literally. My college classmates, friends, colleagues, family members... It just seems unfair. Why not me? I mean I am happy for them and it was very unlikely for us that the IVF would work the very first time but why can't we be in the middle of IVF #2 as we were supposed to be? Why is everything so much dependent on how my body reacted or still reacts to the drugs that are out of my system for over two months now? It's ridiculous. I now pray that I don't start bleeding in the middle of my next cycle again because I really want this to happen. I understand why other women get frustrated easily when this or something similar happens. I can't help but think about all this all the time. And we are only in the waiting period just now. I think Rick is getting a bit annoyed with me because I keep going on and on and on about it. I can't help it, honestly. Oops.

Another delay

Today was supposed to be The Day. Day 21, start of my injections and also endometrial scratch. But nothing of that is happening. The reason is simple. On Friday night, respectively Saturday, I started bleeding. It was my day 18. It wasn't just spotting but probably another period. Or something. I never had any spotting or bleeding in the middle of my cycles before but now it matters. I sent an email to the clinic straight after I knew it wasn't just a day's worth situation. Their reply came just before a nurse called me yesterday to arrange a time slot for the procedure. I had to tell her again what happened and I got redirected to another nurse, Sarah, who told me that a doctor needs to review my notes and will let me know what happens next. It is not great. The scratch needs to be done in luteal phase of the cycle which either didn't happen for me this cycle or happened earlier and it is not advisable to do the scratch while bleeding. Also it affects the start day for my injections. Turns out now we have to wait for my next natural period and start countdown to day 21 from there. That means we won't start treatment cycle #2 for another 7 weeks if everything goes well.

21...20...19...

Yes, officially as of today we can start our countdown to treatment #2! Auntie Flo finally came, 10 days late. I sent an email to the nurses at the clinic straight away and was checking every hour for their reply. It came really quick and it was so detailed. They gave me all the dates, when I have my endometrial scratch, when I start Suprecur, Gonal F, aspirin, higher dose of folic acid and Zomacton, they even gave me an appointment for my first scan. That means there will be no baseline scan this cycle. I guess it's not necessary since I reacted well to all of the drugs and they are keeping them the same for this cycle so there should be everything going well with my body like last time. I can't wait!

Auntie Flo, come back

I was still only counting down to next Auntie Flo's visit when she came. A week early actually. I wasn't sure if that's good or bad but was happy that the countdown could finally start again. But as quick as she came, she left. Two days' visit, nothing more. There definitely wasn't enough to call it a full flow so couldn't let the clinic know. Hopefully she comes next week completely as expected.

IVF #2 ahead

So we went to the clinic today for the follow up appointment. They talked us through the last cycle and told us what actually happened and what we can do differently next time. My mistake was that I thought I could start down regulation in 3 weeks but apparently I have to wait for my next period first because I only had post treatment bleed. So last Saturday wasn't day 1. Oh well.

They are going to leave buserelin as down regulation drug and Gonal F as stimulation drug with the same doses as well but I'm going to have a few more injections, I think the doctor said 3 in total during the stimulation phase to improve the quality and maturity of my eggs (sorry, I forgot the name). I'll be taking aspirin as well. She also offered me some information about endometrial scratching and intralipid infusion. There is not much evidence that it definitely works but it does improve the pregnancy rates. To be honest, I want to do anything there is just to make it work as soon as possible so we can hold our bundle of joy in our arms sooner.

Follow up appointment

I let the clinic know about my negative result straight on Saturday via email and got a reply on the same day. They are going to send me a summary letter but they gave me a number in case we wanted to book a follow up appointment before the letter arrives. We definitely want to try again so I have called them today because we didn't want to miss a cycle. The next free appointment is on 15th of April! My only reaction was 'wow'. That is 6 weeks from now. But the nurse on the phone told me they just had a cancellation for Wednesday this week but we have a new fridge coming so need to be at home. I asked her if it's possible that it would be just one of us coming so the other one could stay at home for the delivery and she said why not. Yay! But the appointment is at 9am anyway and I don't think the fridge will come before noon. So my next day 21 for starting the down regulation should be 18th March.

Official testing day

Today is my day 15, or 10dp5dt and I could officially pee on a stick. It's negative. I kind of knew when I saw some blood on the Crinone gel applicator (sorry for TMI) yesterday. I cried a little. I know we are still young and it was only our first attempt but still it hurts. I need to let the clinic know and hopefully Auntie Flo will come in full soon (spotting this morning) so we can book a follow up appointment and start over. Now it's just bringing up questions like: was it my eggs or was it Rick's sperm because it was surgically removed or was it that the embryos were a bit behind or was I not careful enough in those last two weeks? I don't think we will know any time soon or ever but hopefully next time it will work. Fingers crossed.

TMI ALERT!
I was just facing out the result of the first cycle, trying to find some positives: my brother is coming in 3 weeks for a few days and it's going to be his birthday so I can get drunk with him, I can do my shellac nails again, I can have baths with bath bombs in again, yay! I was actually just having one about a half an hour ago and (TMI now) and something came out of me. I can definitely say that my period is coming as well but this was different. There were two hardish brown-red clumps. They were both about 3-4cm long and kind of grainy. I don't really want to think about what it might have been and I knew the embryos would eventually leave the body in case the cycle wasn't successful but this wasn't what I expected.

7dp5dt

I feel like Schrödinger's cat. I'm pregnant and also not pregnant at the same time. We won't know which one it is until we open the box, ehm, pee on the stick. Symptoms I've had so far (since the embryo transfer): lower belly pain a cramps, sore/sensitive nipples, hot flushes, being very cold (yesterday night I wore PJs, woolly socks, covered by fluffy blanket and thick duvet, still was cold), loss of appetite, nausea, dizziness, constipation, night sweating and insomnia. Not at the same time, haha. I've been googling them all and it might mean that I am either pregnant or that my period is coming. So no win here... Three days till pregnancy test!

5dp5dt

Alright, alright! I did it! I peed on a stick. I just couldn't resist. I asked Rick if I could and he said yes but he also said that I'd only be disappointed. I kind of was. It was negative. But at least the trigger shot is definitely out of my system. I don't know if I'm going to do it again before Saturday. It's just too hard not knowing.

3dp5dt

I have read tons and tons of blogs and forums about IVF ever since we started our own treatment. I hoped to find some answers to my questions. But one thing I never liked about any of these were all those abbreviations. BFN, 2WW, POAS, FET, ER... So many and only a few are quite useful. Btw (haha) they mean Big Fat Negative, 2 Week Wait, Pee On A Stick, Frozen Embryo Transfer and Egg Retrieval. The only exception I actually like is what I used as a heading for this post. 3dp5dt means 3 days post 5 day transfer. It's just too long, haha.
So that's where I am right now. Three days after the embryo transfer. It's also ten days after my trigger injection so technically hCG in it should be out of my system. So...tomorrow I could try home pregnancy test (HPT) for the first time. I know, I should wait another 7 days but it's too tempting. I've had lower belly pain for last two days and today I got quite sick in Tesco but you can never know if it's a good sign or a bad one. Everyone is different and everyone's got different symptoms whether it worked or not. Some of us don't get any at all. I wish my belly ache meant implantation cramps. I asked Rick if I could try the pregnancy test and he said no. He's the one who's counting down the days though, haha. These two weeks are definitely very stressful, I could never imagine how much before I experienced it myself. It is like a roller coaster, yesterday I was adamant that both embryos would implant but today I felt like it's not going to work. We have to stay positive and I must persevere and not use the test before next Saturday.

Embryo transfer, Day 5

I can't explain how nervous and anxious I was this morning. We didn't have to get up until 9am as we are supposed to be at the clinic for 12pm but I was awake since around 6am. I was so scared the phone would ring. Before today, I was expecting the phone call quite eagerly, to hear how our embryos were doing. But today if the phone rang, it would mean that none of our three embryos survived, that they stopped developing and there would be no transfer. It was quite nerve-wrecking.

It is 10am now so I'm quite confident that everything is fine and the transfer will take place.

As of about 12:40pm I am officially PUPO!! That means pregnant until proven otherwise, haha. Today it went very quick, we arrived just before 12, had a little talk with a nurse who gave me some paperwork and two home pregnancy tests. A little wait in the waiting room with full bladder, hoping for a quick procedure and then going to toilet. All good, another nurse took us both through to the procedure room/mini theatre and sat us down again. Embryologist came and told us news about our embryos. She knew we originally wanted just one put back in but based on the quality of our embryos, she recommended to put 2 back in. On day 5, embryos should be in the stage of blastocyst, no visible cells, just nice little circle. Our embryos were a bit behind, they were compacting morulas, which is normally a stage of development on day 4. That's why they think the pregnancy has more chances with two embryos in without too big risk of having twins.
The transfer itself took just a few minutes and was performed by the same doctor who did my egg collection. I wasn't happy about it as I developed quite strong antipathy for her but this time she was considerably gentler. Maybe because Rick was sitting next to me. We could see everything on the ultrasound monitor but there is not much to it anyway. I kind of thought that I would feel different after, a bit more pregnant if not anything else but no. I feel exactly the same as I did in the morning or yesterday or last week. Hopefully it comes later.
Now we have to wait 10 days (today is day 5, pregnancy test is done on day 15) till we find out whether it worked. Fingers crossed.

Waiting game continues

I'm not sure it was Katie who called today but that's not important. The important thing is that all our three embryos are developing! Two are a bit ahead so we were told that if we wanted to put two back in, we should have the transfer today. If we wanted just one, then we are going to do day 5 transfer on Wednesday. We did talk about it with Rick and originally wanted just one but would listen to their advice. I was told based on the embryo quality they recommend one because I'm still young and this is our first cycle as well. So we are not going to the clinic today. I was told there is still chance all the embryos might stop developing but I decided that is not going to happen and we will go there on Wednesday and everything will go well. So as always, fingers crossed.

Waiting game

Katie called me at 8:20ish to tell me that all three embryos are still doing well!!! Yay! :) We're doing the same as yesterday, nurses are going to call later today to pre-arrange appointment for tomorrow (day 3) transfer but we will still get a call tomorrow morning to see if we can still do day 5. Fingers crossed and Happy Valentine's Day!

How many fertilised...?

I just got a phone call from Katie, a member of embryology team at the clinic. Out of my 12 collected eggs they were able to ICSI 6 of them and 3 fertilised. Not the result I was hoping for. :( But still, some did fertilise so yay! :)

There are two options now: we either wait and proceed with day 5 blastocyst culture as intended or we can do tomorrow (day 2) transfer. I couldn't really decide on the spot without talking to Rick first so we agreed on a compromise. The nurses are going to call later today and pre-arrange an appointment for tomorrow transfer but I will get a call tomorrow early morning to see if all three fertilised eggs are still developing nicely. If they are, we will still plan to go for day 5 transfer. If they are not, if one or two of them are slowing down or stopped completely, we will transfer tomorrow. So now we wait again with fingers crossed.

Just before 1pm a nurse called and in case of tomorrow transfer we are to be at the clinic at 10:45am. It is now up to our three little embryos really, whether we are going there tomorrow or Wednesday. We will see.

Egg collection aka Day 0

We just got back from the clinic where I had my egg collection (retrieval). We got there early, just before 8am and there were already so many people coming to have their procedures done. Fortunately I was the first to go from our room, second of the day. They showed me my little place behind curtains, there was no bed but a recliner chair, quite comfy actually. The nurses measured my blood pressure, took my temperature, had a little chat about allergies, just normal stuff really. Then I was given a pill to make me feel a bit more relaxed although I don't think it worked very well. I was also given an ibuprofen suppository which wasn't pleasant at all but nothing terrible either. You get used to 'that feeling' after a few minutes.
They came to collect me at about 9:20am. Wheeled me to the theatre, the nurse didn't let me push myself, haha. Everybody was ready for me, I got on the table and they put cannula in. It took a while because my veins are quite rubbish but it was done the first time. It was go time. The nurse put the first bit of sedation in, I started feeling a tiny bit dizzy after a minute. Then the doctor 'shoved' something big inside me, no idea what that was and she wasn't gentle at all either. Then she injected the local anaesthetic on both sides of the cervix and we were ready to start the collection itself. Then the nurse put another bit of sedation through my cannula. The procedure didn't hurt but in wasn't exactly comfortable. I could feel some pressure in my lower belly, some stinging, quite a lot of stuff was going on in there. It was done in about 30 minutes. Got some antibiotics (suppositories again, apparently everybody gets them). I was told still in the theatre that they got 8 eggs so far but still need to check one last tube. They wheeled me back to the room and gave me a hot chocolate with a warm croissant and blackcurrant jam (yummy, my favourite). After that I had a little sleep, Rick told me it was almost an hour. Then they told me to go to toilet if I can to see that I have no problems with passing urine and then the nurse took the cannula out and I was good to change and be discharged.
They collected 12 eggs in total. Yay! We will get a call from embryologist tomorrow to see how many of them fertilised (on average around 70%). If it is less than 4, they will probably do day 2 transfer which would be Sunday. If 4 or more fertilise, we will aim towards day 5 blastocyst transfer which would be Wednesday.

Trigger time!

I wanted to bet Rick for a fiver that today was not the last scan before egg collection. I'm glad he didn't because I would have lost. Yes, today was the last scan and it's trigger injection time which means the egg collection will take place on Friday. Yay! I'm happy also because I haven't been feeling well, my lower belly hurts and I feel sick quite often. No wonder as I was told my ovaries are now the size of a small orange and normally they are the size of a grape! Also the vaginal scans were becoming quite painful and very uncomfortable.

There is one follicle over 19mm in my left ovary, one over 18mm in my right one and then smaller ones varying in size below 18mm all the way to 12mm and some smaller ones as well. Nurse Zoe said it looks very good, the growth has been steady and I'm in very low risk of OHSS. She took my blood just to check my hormone levels and now I'm waiting for a call from the clinic to tell me what time exactly I'm going to take the trigger injection (Ovitrelle) and what time to come on Friday for the procedure. Our treatment plan is ICSI + blastocyst culture so we should be coming back on Wednesday (day 5) for the transfer if everything goes well as egg collection is considered day 0.

Update: I got my phone call a few minutes ago. I'm going to take the Ovitrelle injection exactly at 9:30pm and we're supposed to be at the clinic at 8:15am on Friday so I'll go in the theatre probably around 9am as the trigger is supposed to be taken exactly 35-36 hours before the procedure because it causes the egg to ripen but they need to be collected before they are released and therefore lost. Rick is not overly happy because it takes us around an hour to get ready plus the drive so will have to get up at 6am.

Stimulation, Day 9

So today is my S9 and we went back to the clinic for another monitoring scan. Today I was seen by nurse Sue even though I did glance nurse Zoe. I prefer Zoe because she talks me through the scan and seems that doesn't mind my curious questions (how can she count the follicles when there are so many, how does the vaginal ultrasound work, what is what on the monitor...) but Sue was nice as well. Just kept everything to herself.
Nothing amazing happened really, I have 18 follicles in my right ovary and 11 in my left one. A few are floating around 15mm, next few around 10-11mm, some in between and then there are a lot of smaller ones. Lining was about 9,2mm thick and nurse Sue said anything above 8mm is good. So check there. I finished my Gonal F pen yesterday so got a new one. I'm continuing 112,5 IU and 20 IU of buserelin and coming back for another scan on Wednesday.

Stimulation, Day 6

I accidentally deleted my post from 31/01/16: Stimulation, Day 1. :((( I'll just write a few things I remember. We started the stimulation phase on Sunday 31st January. That means I started injecting 112,5 IU of Gonal F as well as lower dose (20 IU instead of 50) of buserelin. Gonal F contains a type of FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) which is basically boosting my ovaries into making several follicles each hopefully containing an egg. The lower dose of buserelin is preventing the follicles from maturing too early and releasing the eggs before the egg collection and therefore lost for this cycle.
I wasn't afraid of the injection at all, it's already pre-filled pen so you just have to put a single-use needle on it and adjust the dose to the correct number. I've read the leaflet, I have the little poster they gave me blue-tacked above my chest of drawers, where I've set up my injection station, the nurses showed me how to do it but I ended up with the pen in one hand ready to inject and the instructions in the other flipping through the pages just to make sure I screwed the needle on correctly. I was nervous because it is an important part of the procedure, the number of eggs will depend on whether I am able to do the second injection correctly like the first one. At the end I managed to perform and all went well. So for the next week and half or so it will be two injections a day at 7:30pm. Yay.

Today is my S6 (6th day of stimulation phase, have had 5 doses so far). We went back to the clinic for our second scan, first one after baseline. Met the same nurse as last week and her name is Zoe. I had to look at her name badge but got it at the end. Today it wasn't as busy at the outpatients but ended up waiting half an hour before being called through. We didn't mind though, no rush. It's just that every time someone comes to the waiting room, everyone looks up in case it's a nurse calling them. It's like a room full of meerkats.

The scan itself and the talk after with the nurse was again quick. She said my lining is thickening nicely, which is good. Then she saw 3 follicles in my right ovary over 10mm and one 11mm one in my left ovary. Plenty of smaller ones. Good news for us. I honestly didn't understand how she could see any follicles last time and count them, I just saw grey colour here, darker there and lighter again. Nothing that looked like... something. Today I saw these big black circles inside me. I'm quite surprised that I'm not bloated. I have read on loads of IVF blogs that a lot of women suffer from constipation and/or bloating (and I also think I've read it in the drug leaflets in side effects part). I do get the odd headache or bellyache or I feel a bit sick sometimes in the evening but that might be completely unrelated to the drugs. Anyway, I'm reacting well to the drugs and both ovaries joined the party. I was told to stay on the same doses of both Gonal F and  buserelin and will be coming back for another scan on Monday. Nurse Zoe is expecting my follicles to grow to about 14-15mm by then and they need to be approx.18mm before the trigger shot. So we will see if the follicles are growing slow and steady or whether they are going to be bigger on Monday already. In that case they will consider me for the trigger shot earlier. Happy days. :)

Baseline scan

Good news, Auntie Flo came for a visit on Wednesday so I could stop panicking and we went for our baseline scan today. The waiting room was packed, there were five other couples at one point. There were no delays though, I was called through at 9:35am. I didn't catch the nurse's name but she was nice as everyone is at this clinic. I was done in 15 minutes and she found out that my lining is thin but not as thin as it should be, indicating that I will still bleed a bit more. Ovaries were nice and quiet, she saw 9 follicles in my right ovary and 10 in my left one. Great result! I was told I'm good to start my stimulation phase (Gonal F injections) on Sunday 31st January. That's in two days!! Normally they let patients have 6 doses of stimulation drug before next scan but we'll be coming after five just to make sure that everything is going well. So we're going there next Friday and after that probably Monday. Can't wait!

Clumsy or not?

Uh-oh, another bruise. I thought I would be getting better at injecting myself but I'm not. It seems I'm developing a kind of pattern. When I inject in the left side of my lower belly, it doesn't hurt but it bruises. If I inject the middle section, oh it hurts. The right side is problem-free so far. Rick asked me why don't I just inject in the right side then but I was told to alternate sides and cover the whole 'big smile' area (belly button being the 'nose'). I'm starting to get a bit worried for when I'm doing two injections a day (buserelin and Gonal F). On the other hand hopefully the baseline scan in 4 days will be good and will be able to start the stimulation phase of the treatment soon. Only if I start my period though. That is essential to have happened before the scan, otherwise we will have to reschedule it for next week or later. My period is supposed to start today but nothing yet. I should calm myself down as there is still a few days window before panicking and calling the clinic.

Here is a picture of my 2in1 bruise (the one from last Friday, 10 days ago, still hasn't disappeared, making the left side of it blue-yellowish and right side blue-dark purple, sorry for that much detail but it looks like my best piece of art work).

First injection

Ok, here it is. Friday 15th January 2016. My first injection. The next two weeks of the treatment is called down regulation. It's stopping the natural production of hormones that control ovulation. I was said it would be similar to menopause. My dose is 50 units which will go down to 20 units when I start taking Gonal F (stimulating drug which causes more follicles to mature). I wasn't really afraid of the needle or the pain, after all I donate blood and the needle in comparison to this one is something else. It was more like a fear from the uknown and that it will be ME who is gonna have to put the needle in me. The injection has to be taken between 6 and 8pm so I picked my time to be 7:30, in case I was in a gym or somewhere. Set alarm for everyday in my phone and after a week also on my Fitbit, in case I didn't have my phone on me or I didn't hear it. Fitbit came later because I didn't know I could set alarms on it, haha. To be honest, I don't really need any reminders because constantly on my mind. You need to do the injection, don't forget the injection...
The very first injection didn't hurt at all but gave me a massive bruise. I bruise very easily so it didn't really surprise me and I did ask the nurse about it. All good. It made me feel a bit...different. I might have been all just in my head but I did feel a bit strange. Bit of a headache and my belly stang for a while. I spent the rest of the day resting in bed, went to sleep early and the next day I was back to normal.
Today, when I decided to start this blog, it is day 8 of buserelin. A few days ago the injection stang and itched a lot for couple of hours but apart from that, nothing. No more bruises, no side effects. Until today. Yesterday I suffered from diarrhea and headache but I thought it might have been because we went for a birthday dinner of my boyfriend's step mum and we had a really BIG dinner, cake and all. Today I woke up with a sore throat which went away after a while just to be swapped with a headache, belly ache, chest pains and the urge to cry for no reason. Some fever occurred as well. That all kind of indicated towards OHSS (ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome) which we were warned about by the doctor and the nurses. We discussed whether we should call the clinic or go to A&E but I don't like making fuss about nothing. I eventually got better and got a Chinese takeaway out of it as well. Yay!

Nurse's discussion

A week came by and we were on our way to the clinic again. We met Laura, the nurse who was going to take care of us. She is absolutely lovely. She knew I already had my drug teach so that made it easier and quicker as well. I also got the first drug dispensed to me the week before. She confirmed for me that I would start injecting Suprecur® (buserelin) on 15th January, only 2 days later! She also booked us in for a baseline scan in two weeks time, 29th January. She was explaining what will happen after that if everything goes well. It started to feel that it is actually happening.

My first consultation

After Rick's procedure we were told they did find sperm so we were good to proceed with the treatment. I booked my appointment for 6th January 2016 with gynaecologist. I was told in the letter I would have a pelvic exam and an ultrasound scan and we both might have some blood tests. All good.

The doctor was very nice and welcoming and took his time with explaining everything to us to make sure we knew exactly what he was talking about. At the end I did not have any scans or exams. I was on day 12 in my cycle so the doctor said if there was a free appointment for nurses discussion and 'drug teach', we could start the treatment this cycle. That was exciting to hear. They actually taught me how to use different types of injections that very same day and they also took mine and Rick's blood for more tests. Unfortunately they didn't have time to discuss our dates but made appointment for us in just a week, Wednesday 13th January, which meant we COULD start the treatment this cycle, day 21 being 15th January. Amazing!

TESE

When this happened: 15th December 2015. The day finally came. Rick is not happy. It was Tuesday and he didn't appreciate my idea of having chicken balls for dinner on Monday. He was hungry and thirsty but that was necessary because of general anaesthesia. We arrived for 12:30pm, being told he will go in the theatre between 3 and 4pm. Nurses kept coming and going, measuring blood pressure, filling out different forms, especially the one where he could choose what sandwich he's gonna get after he wakes up. We tried to watch Game of Thrones on iPad but were told off. Phone batteries started dying after couple of hours of playing and fidgeting to kill some time. Finally, at 3:45pm they came for him. I asked how long it will probably take and was told sometime between an hour or two. Not too bad, I could eat my salad now I brought with me but didn't want to eat in front of him and tease him with it. He did tell me a salad is not gonna tease him but still... It was food, right?
They wheeled him back after only 45 minutes. They surprised me, I was comfy sitting in a hospital chair, his wheelchair in front of me with my legs nicely on it. We needed to move everything so the bed would fit. He was so cute. Told me he forgot to count to 10. I kept cuddling him and reassuring him that it's done now just to find out later he didn't remember first 15 minutes of being back from the theatre. Complete waste of time it was then, haha.
We were told earlier they would tell us the results before we go home. It was quite a crucial moment because we had no idea whether Rick was able to have his own baby after 8 years being it the chair. While he was in the theatre, because he was the last patient going through this procedure that day, the couple next to us got their results. I could not not hear it, there were only paper curtains between the beds. They were told the doctors did not find any sperm. They looked for it in both testicles for over hour and a half but unfortunately didn't find any mature sperm. I couldn't imagine how devastating that had to be to hear. It made me only more afraid what our result was going to be.
The urologist came fairly early, maybe half and hour after Rick was back from the theatre and told us they found sperm and extracted 6 ampoules where 1 is normally enough for one cycle. What a relief! On the other hand I felt bad for the lovely couple next to us because they had to be able to hear it too...
Got home ok with me driving and spent 3 days in bed, doctor's orders. Within 5 weeks it is nicely healed and we can't almost tell where the incision was.

Our first visit to the clinic

When this happened: 4th August 2015. The first appointment actually worked perfectly because it didn't collide with Chelsea match we were going to the very next day. Yes. Football nut right here next to me.
We arrived and everything was good, everybody was very nice. We saw a urologist and he told us about our options with sperm retrieval. After a little chat we ruled out electro-ejaculation and also PESA (percutaneous epididymal sperm aspiration - trying to suck sperm from epididymis with a fine needle) and decided for full surgical retrieval called TESE (testicular sperm extraction) where a small incision is made and sperm is retrieved 'manually' directly from testicle.
But first Rick needed to get some blood tests done to see if his testosterone levels were good and also needed to be routinely checked for hepatitis and HIV, otherwise they couldn't go forward with the procedure and subsequently freeze any sperm. We decided to go to our GP to save some money but we learned that was quite a mistake. We booked 14 days holiday in Tenerife from the end of August till 9th September 2015 and they didn't have any free appointments before our departure so had to book it for second half of September which postponed everything by approximately a month already. Also the urologist told us there is about two months waiting period for this procedure. Great. More waiting. But we kind of expected it to be quite a long journey so it wasn't that bad.
After holiday blood was taken. We were waiting for the results. One week, nothing. Two weeks, nothing. Third week we called GP to find out. Oh, they were there after a few days from the blood taking. Hmm... Alright now, could you please fax the results to the clinic? The GP knows why and where. Ok, thanks. A week passed, no phone call from the clinic. We called them to find out they didn't get any test results. We called the GP again and asked them to fax it again. After two more calls back and forth they got the results! After that we got a confirmation letter that the TESE will take place on 15th December 2015. That wasn't even two months, only a month and a half so we were happy.

How it all started

Hi, my name is Eva and I'm 26. Ricky, who is 25, and I have been together for 2 and a half years now and would like to start our little family. Ricky has been in a car accident several years ago which left him quadriplegic because of C5/6 complete spinal injury. He will have to spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair but we met after his accident anyway so I don't see it as a problem or obstacle in anything we do. Of course, we have to adjust our plans when travelling or going some places but sometimes with difficulties it has always been manageable.

Please see this blog only as my online diary, following our journey through IVF.

We started thinking about having a baby sometime at the beginning of last year (2015). We had to go to GP once so we thought we might as well ask them about our options in this matter. They were very nice and understandable and booked me for some blood tests to see if my hormone levels were OK. That all went well and after learning I was good to go, we were expecting referral letter to IVF clinic. Nothing came. Couple of months passed and still nothing. We found ourselves at GP again so asked about it but they said because we were there that time because of Ricky, they couldn't look into my file and check anything. Big disappointment and we felt a bit cheated. After that I booked myself an appointment to get the referral letter. That was in June or July 2015. I got to GP. There was another person in the room but have no idea who that was. I didn't mind really as it was nothing embarrassing  to ask. I explained we came in a few months earlier and about the blood tests and everything and that I would like them to type me the letter and the response I got was: ,And what do you expect them to do about that?' I felt like an idiot. Well... They have their methods how to retrieve sperm from my boyfriend and how to help us conceive but they were the doctors so why should he ask me like this in a very rude and irritated way? I left with nothing and still angry I googled IVF clinics in UK. Found a nice one about 45-minute-long drive from where we live. Great. Got boyfriend to call them to see if they do people with spinal injuries. Got ourselves an appointment on August 4, 2015! Yay!