Follow up appointment

I let the clinic know about my negative result straight on Saturday via email and got a reply on the same day. They are going to send me a summary letter but they gave me a number in case we wanted to book a follow up appointment before the letter arrives. We definitely want to try again so I have called them today because we didn't want to miss a cycle. The next free appointment is on 15th of April! My only reaction was 'wow'. That is 6 weeks from now. But the nurse on the phone told me they just had a cancellation for Wednesday this week but we have a new fridge coming so need to be at home. I asked her if it's possible that it would be just one of us coming so the other one could stay at home for the delivery and she said why not. Yay! But the appointment is at 9am anyway and I don't think the fridge will come before noon. So my next day 21 for starting the down regulation should be 18th March.

Official testing day

Today is my day 15, or 10dp5dt and I could officially pee on a stick. It's negative. I kind of knew when I saw some blood on the Crinone gel applicator (sorry for TMI) yesterday. I cried a little. I know we are still young and it was only our first attempt but still it hurts. I need to let the clinic know and hopefully Auntie Flo will come in full soon (spotting this morning) so we can book a follow up appointment and start over. Now it's just bringing up questions like: was it my eggs or was it Rick's sperm because it was surgically removed or was it that the embryos were a bit behind or was I not careful enough in those last two weeks? I don't think we will know any time soon or ever but hopefully next time it will work. Fingers crossed.

TMI ALERT!
I was just facing out the result of the first cycle, trying to find some positives: my brother is coming in 3 weeks for a few days and it's going to be his birthday so I can get drunk with him, I can do my shellac nails again, I can have baths with bath bombs in again, yay! I was actually just having one about a half an hour ago and (TMI now) and something came out of me. I can definitely say that my period is coming as well but this was different. There were two hardish brown-red clumps. They were both about 3-4cm long and kind of grainy. I don't really want to think about what it might have been and I knew the embryos would eventually leave the body in case the cycle wasn't successful but this wasn't what I expected.

7dp5dt

I feel like Schrödinger's cat. I'm pregnant and also not pregnant at the same time. We won't know which one it is until we open the box, ehm, pee on the stick. Symptoms I've had so far (since the embryo transfer): lower belly pain a cramps, sore/sensitive nipples, hot flushes, being very cold (yesterday night I wore PJs, woolly socks, covered by fluffy blanket and thick duvet, still was cold), loss of appetite, nausea, dizziness, constipation, night sweating and insomnia. Not at the same time, haha. I've been googling them all and it might mean that I am either pregnant or that my period is coming. So no win here... Three days till pregnancy test!

5dp5dt

Alright, alright! I did it! I peed on a stick. I just couldn't resist. I asked Rick if I could and he said yes but he also said that I'd only be disappointed. I kind of was. It was negative. But at least the trigger shot is definitely out of my system. I don't know if I'm going to do it again before Saturday. It's just too hard not knowing.

3dp5dt

I have read tons and tons of blogs and forums about IVF ever since we started our own treatment. I hoped to find some answers to my questions. But one thing I never liked about any of these were all those abbreviations. BFN, 2WW, POAS, FET, ER... So many and only a few are quite useful. Btw (haha) they mean Big Fat Negative, 2 Week Wait, Pee On A Stick, Frozen Embryo Transfer and Egg Retrieval. The only exception I actually like is what I used as a heading for this post. 3dp5dt means 3 days post 5 day transfer. It's just too long, haha.
So that's where I am right now. Three days after the embryo transfer. It's also ten days after my trigger injection so technically hCG in it should be out of my system. So...tomorrow I could try home pregnancy test (HPT) for the first time. I know, I should wait another 7 days but it's too tempting. I've had lower belly pain for last two days and today I got quite sick in Tesco but you can never know if it's a good sign or a bad one. Everyone is different and everyone's got different symptoms whether it worked or not. Some of us don't get any at all. I wish my belly ache meant implantation cramps. I asked Rick if I could try the pregnancy test and he said no. He's the one who's counting down the days though, haha. These two weeks are definitely very stressful, I could never imagine how much before I experienced it myself. It is like a roller coaster, yesterday I was adamant that both embryos would implant but today I felt like it's not going to work. We have to stay positive and I must persevere and not use the test before next Saturday.

Embryo transfer, Day 5

I can't explain how nervous and anxious I was this morning. We didn't have to get up until 9am as we are supposed to be at the clinic for 12pm but I was awake since around 6am. I was so scared the phone would ring. Before today, I was expecting the phone call quite eagerly, to hear how our embryos were doing. But today if the phone rang, it would mean that none of our three embryos survived, that they stopped developing and there would be no transfer. It was quite nerve-wrecking.

It is 10am now so I'm quite confident that everything is fine and the transfer will take place.

As of about 12:40pm I am officially PUPO!! That means pregnant until proven otherwise, haha. Today it went very quick, we arrived just before 12, had a little talk with a nurse who gave me some paperwork and two home pregnancy tests. A little wait in the waiting room with full bladder, hoping for a quick procedure and then going to toilet. All good, another nurse took us both through to the procedure room/mini theatre and sat us down again. Embryologist came and told us news about our embryos. She knew we originally wanted just one put back in but based on the quality of our embryos, she recommended to put 2 back in. On day 5, embryos should be in the stage of blastocyst, no visible cells, just nice little circle. Our embryos were a bit behind, they were compacting morulas, which is normally a stage of development on day 4. That's why they think the pregnancy has more chances with two embryos in without too big risk of having twins.
The transfer itself took just a few minutes and was performed by the same doctor who did my egg collection. I wasn't happy about it as I developed quite strong antipathy for her but this time she was considerably gentler. Maybe because Rick was sitting next to me. We could see everything on the ultrasound monitor but there is not much to it anyway. I kind of thought that I would feel different after, a bit more pregnant if not anything else but no. I feel exactly the same as I did in the morning or yesterday or last week. Hopefully it comes later.
Now we have to wait 10 days (today is day 5, pregnancy test is done on day 15) till we find out whether it worked. Fingers crossed.

Waiting game continues

I'm not sure it was Katie who called today but that's not important. The important thing is that all our three embryos are developing! Two are a bit ahead so we were told that if we wanted to put two back in, we should have the transfer today. If we wanted just one, then we are going to do day 5 transfer on Wednesday. We did talk about it with Rick and originally wanted just one but would listen to their advice. I was told based on the embryo quality they recommend one because I'm still young and this is our first cycle as well. So we are not going to the clinic today. I was told there is still chance all the embryos might stop developing but I decided that is not going to happen and we will go there on Wednesday and everything will go well. So as always, fingers crossed.

Waiting game

Katie called me at 8:20ish to tell me that all three embryos are still doing well!!! Yay! :) We're doing the same as yesterday, nurses are going to call later today to pre-arrange appointment for tomorrow (day 3) transfer but we will still get a call tomorrow morning to see if we can still do day 5. Fingers crossed and Happy Valentine's Day!