Another delay

Today was supposed to be The Day. Day 21, start of my injections and also endometrial scratch. But nothing of that is happening. The reason is simple. On Friday night, respectively Saturday, I started bleeding. It was my day 18. It wasn't just spotting but probably another period. Or something. I never had any spotting or bleeding in the middle of my cycles before but now it matters. I sent an email to the clinic straight after I knew it wasn't just a day's worth situation. Their reply came just before a nurse called me yesterday to arrange a time slot for the procedure. I had to tell her again what happened and I got redirected to another nurse, Sarah, who told me that a doctor needs to review my notes and will let me know what happens next. It is not great. The scratch needs to be done in luteal phase of the cycle which either didn't happen for me this cycle or happened earlier and it is not advisable to do the scratch while bleeding. Also it affects the start day for my injections. Turns out now we have to wait for my next natural period and start countdown to day 21 from there. That means we won't start treatment cycle #2 for another 7 weeks if everything goes well.

21...20...19...

Yes, officially as of today we can start our countdown to treatment #2! Auntie Flo finally came, 10 days late. I sent an email to the nurses at the clinic straight away and was checking every hour for their reply. It came really quick and it was so detailed. They gave me all the dates, when I have my endometrial scratch, when I start Suprecur, Gonal F, aspirin, higher dose of folic acid and Zomacton, they even gave me an appointment for my first scan. That means there will be no baseline scan this cycle. I guess it's not necessary since I reacted well to all of the drugs and they are keeping them the same for this cycle so there should be everything going well with my body like last time. I can't wait!

Auntie Flo, come back

I was still only counting down to next Auntie Flo's visit when she came. A week early actually. I wasn't sure if that's good or bad but was happy that the countdown could finally start again. But as quick as she came, she left. Two days' visit, nothing more. There definitely wasn't enough to call it a full flow so couldn't let the clinic know. Hopefully she comes next week completely as expected.

IVF #2 ahead

So we went to the clinic today for the follow up appointment. They talked us through the last cycle and told us what actually happened and what we can do differently next time. My mistake was that I thought I could start down regulation in 3 weeks but apparently I have to wait for my next period first because I only had post treatment bleed. So last Saturday wasn't day 1. Oh well.

They are going to leave buserelin as down regulation drug and Gonal F as stimulation drug with the same doses as well but I'm going to have a few more injections, I think the doctor said 3 in total during the stimulation phase to improve the quality and maturity of my eggs (sorry, I forgot the name). I'll be taking aspirin as well. She also offered me some information about endometrial scratching and intralipid infusion. There is not much evidence that it definitely works but it does improve the pregnancy rates. To be honest, I want to do anything there is just to make it work as soon as possible so we can hold our bundle of joy in our arms sooner.

Follow up appointment

I let the clinic know about my negative result straight on Saturday via email and got a reply on the same day. They are going to send me a summary letter but they gave me a number in case we wanted to book a follow up appointment before the letter arrives. We definitely want to try again so I have called them today because we didn't want to miss a cycle. The next free appointment is on 15th of April! My only reaction was 'wow'. That is 6 weeks from now. But the nurse on the phone told me they just had a cancellation for Wednesday this week but we have a new fridge coming so need to be at home. I asked her if it's possible that it would be just one of us coming so the other one could stay at home for the delivery and she said why not. Yay! But the appointment is at 9am anyway and I don't think the fridge will come before noon. So my next day 21 for starting the down regulation should be 18th March.

Official testing day

Today is my day 15, or 10dp5dt and I could officially pee on a stick. It's negative. I kind of knew when I saw some blood on the Crinone gel applicator (sorry for TMI) yesterday. I cried a little. I know we are still young and it was only our first attempt but still it hurts. I need to let the clinic know and hopefully Auntie Flo will come in full soon (spotting this morning) so we can book a follow up appointment and start over. Now it's just bringing up questions like: was it my eggs or was it Rick's sperm because it was surgically removed or was it that the embryos were a bit behind or was I not careful enough in those last two weeks? I don't think we will know any time soon or ever but hopefully next time it will work. Fingers crossed.

TMI ALERT!
I was just facing out the result of the first cycle, trying to find some positives: my brother is coming in 3 weeks for a few days and it's going to be his birthday so I can get drunk with him, I can do my shellac nails again, I can have baths with bath bombs in again, yay! I was actually just having one about a half an hour ago and (TMI now) and something came out of me. I can definitely say that my period is coming as well but this was different. There were two hardish brown-red clumps. They were both about 3-4cm long and kind of grainy. I don't really want to think about what it might have been and I knew the embryos would eventually leave the body in case the cycle wasn't successful but this wasn't what I expected.

7dp5dt

I feel like Schrödinger's cat. I'm pregnant and also not pregnant at the same time. We won't know which one it is until we open the box, ehm, pee on the stick. Symptoms I've had so far (since the embryo transfer): lower belly pain a cramps, sore/sensitive nipples, hot flushes, being very cold (yesterday night I wore PJs, woolly socks, covered by fluffy blanket and thick duvet, still was cold), loss of appetite, nausea, dizziness, constipation, night sweating and insomnia. Not at the same time, haha. I've been googling them all and it might mean that I am either pregnant or that my period is coming. So no win here... Three days till pregnancy test!

5dp5dt

Alright, alright! I did it! I peed on a stick. I just couldn't resist. I asked Rick if I could and he said yes but he also said that I'd only be disappointed. I kind of was. It was negative. But at least the trigger shot is definitely out of my system. I don't know if I'm going to do it again before Saturday. It's just too hard not knowing.