Hopefully number 7 will be lucky for us

I realized yesterday that I haven't been updating my blog, so my apologies.
I was waiting for my first period after withdrawal bleed after IVF no.6. Since my last 'natural' cycle was 56 days, when my husband started talking about a last holiday before the treatment cycle starts, I was all for it. We chose a week in September to go in and booked it all on August 21st. Of course, my period started on August 22nd (so that cycle ended up being 41 days), which meant my day 21 would be exactly in the middle of the holiday week. Oh well. I started taking Microgynon and booked TIA appointment (when you sign all the consent forms) as well as the endometrial scratch two days after that.
TIA was last Wednesday, September 19th, all went well. Endometrial scratch was on Friday, September 21st. It has become more common now that the booked appointments are running late which we are not happy about. On Wednesday we had to wait for half an hour. On Friday it was only about ten minutes but the reason got me angry. The lady booked before us was late but because she got there still before us (we arrived bang on at 12pm, our booked time), she took our slot. I would prefer if they took us first, acknowledging our timely arrival time and she would wait when there is a window. Anyhow... It was all very quick, signed a form, undressed while Rick, doctor David and nurse Nicole (or Nicola) were chatting about football. I do hate speculums so this time was no different. The scratch itself was very painful but quick as usual. Got all clear to start my buserelin injections that evening. I got a cyst on my right ovary again but the only thing they can do is to monitor its size. There are around 13 follicles in my left ovary and around 5 in my right one but probably there are some hiding behind the cyst. Next appointment is booked for 5th October, to check how everything looks and hopefully to confirm the start of stimulation.

Result of IVF no.6

Trigger and egg collection

I know, I know, I'm slacking, I should be adding new post the same day as it happened so I can include all the details but I just forget because we're quite busy.
So on Monday it was our last monitoring scan. I went to the clinic on my own because the appointment was at 10am and Rick watched England play World Cup match the day before so was in no state to function that early lol. I got there and it was nurse Sarah again. She used to seem a bit grumpy at first but I'm starting to warm up to her now. She did the scan. Lining was 9.8mm, looooooads of follicles in my right ovary. I think she counted 19 follicles over 14mm. The biggest one was around 22mm. The left ovary didn't have as many but still around 8. I was ready to trigger!
The trigger took place at 21:40 that night. It was Ovitrelle this time so it was easy enough.
This time I decided to track hCG in my urine the whole two weeks after trigger injection so I took pregnancy test the next morning. I was expecting a very thick two lines but all I got was a faint ghost. I tried to google if anyone ever had it too and apparently not... That didn't fill me up with confidence and I started worrying that it didn't work as well as it should and what not. All I had to do is to wait.
On Wednesday (yesterday), Rick's brother dropped us off at the clinic around 9am. We got admitted to recovery ward straight away. I helped Rick get ready and got ready myself. I was first, scheduled procedure time at 9:40am, Rick's at 10:20am. I went in around 10am. Rick's been given another Lorazepam and was blisfully sleeping so I couldn't wave at him when they were wheeling my bed past his bay. All the staff in the theatre were lovely as always, we had a little laugh when I told the anaesthetist that it hurt when he injected the canula into my hand. I don't remember much after that as they knocked me out but I do remember faintly waking up during the procedure for a bit but nothing else. No pain or anything they were just doing. I started waking up around 11am. I asked how many eggs they collected. ''Twenty two.'' ...''What??!'' I honestly couldn't believe it! And after a minute the nurse said 23, as they counted another one! The most eggs we ever had before was 12 at the very first cycle! I was soooo happy. Then Rick went in and I was chatting to Kristyna, Slovak nurse who works at the clinic. He took long and even though Kristyna tried to peek through the door for me, she couldn't see what was happening in there. They brought him in after maybe 50 minutes and they had to cut as aspiration with needle didn't result in many sperm collected.
We got a call later that day saying 18 eggs were suitable for ICSI and they used fresh sperm for all of them. Yay!
As I was writing this, I got a call from embryologist. Out of 18 eggs, only 3 fertilised. I feel defeated. We thought this cycle could be it. So many eggs collected so a lot would fertilise and we could finaly be choosing the best quality embryos, not be putting any not delayed ones back. But I guess we are just not lucky.

Pregnancies in the air

Rick's best mate has called him earlier today with great news. His girlfriend of few months is pregnant. They are really happy and we are for them too. I honestly am happy but at the same time I am upset. They have been together 6 months max (I think) and now they are going to have a baby.
Only three weeks ago we found out another of Rick's friends and his wife are expecting. Again, I am happy for them but at the same time I am sad and angry and feeling like a total bitch and the worst person in the world when in my head it's buzzing with thoughts like: 'It should have been us', 'We got married earlier than them so it's our turn first', 'How can they be so happy and rub it right in my face when we've been trying for years with IVF and it still hasn't worked', 'How dare they get pregnant after one month trying or not even trying at all and it just works for them'...
It's really mixed feelings inside me right now and I can't say anything to Rick because he told me I just can't not be happy for someone else. I know that and I'm really trying but I can't help feeling really upset and down because of it all.
Anyhow...
My belly is starting to hurt and ache so I guess the follicles might be quite big by now. Also I feel quite thirsty all the time so I hope it's not a sign of OHSS. We'll see tomorrow.

First scan and beginning of stimulation

My first scan after starting Suprecur was scheduled for Friday 8th June. However, my period hasn't come before that so we had to cancel it. We kept an appointment a week later, June 15th but I would still call the clinic to let them know when my period actually starts. It did start on the 8th in the afternoon/evening when the clinic was already closed so called them the next Monday. I don't like leaving voice mails (because I must sound really special) so I had no chance getting a hold of anyone in the morning. Called them around 1 or 2pm and got told off by the nurse that they should've scanned me today if I started bleeding on Friday. Well, you should answer your phone then. Booked me in for the next day.
Scan went well, the cyst was still there but it's not growing and the lining was nice and thin (1.6mm) so it probably isn't producing any hormones. Follicles are small as well so I was good to start stimulation. Yay! This time I got Meriofert, which is FSH and a bit of hCG, the doctor changed it last minute. I'm on 300 IU.
Today was the first monitoring scan. Lining grew to 6.4mm, follicles are around 8-9mm, one is at 12mm. The cyst is gone! The nurse couldn't see it and apparently it happens that they just disappear. Good timing. She upped my dose to 375 IU just to make sure that most follicles grow above 18mm. She said there is around 20 of them altogether so I'm really happy. Never had that many before. The next appointment is on Friday 22nd.

Fast forward to IVF no.6!

My husband and I attended a follow up appointment on May 8th. We were told about possible donor sperm as one of our options. We politely declined. It is really Rick's decision and I respect it completely. We want to keep trying with our gametes as long as possible. That was day 26 of the first natural cycle after unsuccessful IVF no.5. We told the doctor we wanted to start a new treatment cycle as soon as possible. We were told that's fine, I was supposed to let them know when my period starts as usual and then we would plan the endometrial scratch for one day between days 17-21. We also planned a TIA appointment which was just signing all their consent forms again and go through our treatment plan. That was yesterday.
We got there and the nurse asked me why I haven't contacted them about my Day 1. Well, that's simple. My period hasn't come yet! It was day 42 and nothing. She then talked to Dr David and they agreed, if there is absolutely no chance of pregnancy, as there is not, we would book the pipelle scratch randomly and start the down regulation on the same day together with a 5-day course of pills that should kick start my cycle and I should have a withdrawal bleed as usual before the baseline scan. The other option was just to give me the pills and wait for my period to come but that could have taken up to three weeks. So we opted for option number 1. The next available slot for the procedure was actually today!
So we went and here we are. The scratch hurt nowhere near as last time. Yay! The lining looked good and there are around 13 follicles on my right ovary and 6 on my left one as well as either a cyst or a follicle around 25mm big. They prescribed me Ovitrelle to make me ovulate and get rid of that follicle so it wouldn't interfere with the next treatment. After I was given thumbs up and straight after we got home I took the first pill. Next one will be tonight together with Suprecur.

Result of IVF no.5

We will find out tomorrow

Tomorrow is the big day. The day of pregnancy test. I'm trying to keep hoping but I have a feeling the result will be negative once again.