Rick's best mate has called him earlier today with great news. His girlfriend of few months is pregnant. They are really happy and we are for them too. I honestly am happy but at the same time I am upset. They have been together 6 months max (I think) and now they are going to have a baby.
Only three weeks ago we found out another of Rick's friends and his wife are expecting. Again, I am happy for them but at the same time I am sad and angry and feeling like a total bitch and the worst person in the world when in my head it's buzzing with thoughts like: 'It should have been us', 'We got married earlier than them so it's our turn first', 'How can they be so happy and rub it right in my face when we've been trying for years with IVF and it still hasn't worked', 'How dare they get pregnant after one month trying or not even trying at all and it just works for them'...
It's really mixed feelings inside me right now and I can't say anything to Rick because he told me I just can't not be happy for someone else. I know that and I'm really trying but I can't help feeling really upset and down because of it all.
Anyhow...
My belly is starting to hurt and ache so I guess the follicles might be quite big by now. Also I feel quite thirsty all the time so I hope it's not a sign of OHSS. We'll see tomorrow.
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