Follow up appointment

I let the clinic know about my negative result straight on Saturday via email and got a reply on the same day. They are going to send me a summary letter but they gave me a number in case we wanted to book a follow up appointment before the letter arrives. We definitely want to try again so I have called them today because we didn't want to miss a cycle. The next free appointment is on 15th of April! My only reaction was 'wow'. That is 6 weeks from now. But the nurse on the phone told me they just had a cancellation for Wednesday this week but we have a new fridge coming so need to be at home. I asked her if it's possible that it would be just one of us coming so the other one could stay at home for the delivery and she said why not. Yay! But the appointment is at 9am anyway and I don't think the fridge will come before noon. So my next day 21 for starting the down regulation should be 18th March.

Official testing day

Today is my day 15, or 10dp5dt and I could officially pee on a stick. It's negative. I kind of knew when I saw some blood on the Crinone gel applicator (sorry for TMI) yesterday. I cried a little. I know we are still young and it was only our first attempt but still it hurts. I need to let the clinic know and hopefully Auntie Flo will come in full soon (spotting this morning) so we can book a follow up appointment and start over. Now it's just bringing up questions like: was it my eggs or was it Rick's sperm because it was surgically removed or was it that the embryos were a bit behind or was I not careful enough in those last two weeks? I don't think we will know any time soon or ever but hopefully next time it will work. Fingers crossed.

TMI ALERT!
I was just facing out the result of the first cycle, trying to find some positives: my brother is coming in 3 weeks for a few days and it's going to be his birthday so I can get drunk with him, I can do my shellac nails again, I can have baths with bath bombs in again, yay! I was actually just having one about a half an hour ago and (TMI now) and something came out of me. I can definitely say that my period is coming as well but this was different. There were two hardish brown-red clumps. They were both about 3-4cm long and kind of grainy. I don't really want to think about what it might have been and I knew the embryos would eventually leave the body in case the cycle wasn't successful but this wasn't what I expected.

7dp5dt

I feel like Schrödinger's cat. I'm pregnant and also not pregnant at the same time. We won't know which one it is until we open the box, ehm, pee on the stick. Symptoms I've had so far (since the embryo transfer): lower belly pain a cramps, sore/sensitive nipples, hot flushes, being very cold (yesterday night I wore PJs, woolly socks, covered by fluffy blanket and thick duvet, still was cold), loss of appetite, nausea, dizziness, constipation, night sweating and insomnia. Not at the same time, haha. I've been googling them all and it might mean that I am either pregnant or that my period is coming. So no win here... Three days till pregnancy test!

5dp5dt

Alright, alright! I did it! I peed on a stick. I just couldn't resist. I asked Rick if I could and he said yes but he also said that I'd only be disappointed. I kind of was. It was negative. But at least the trigger shot is definitely out of my system. I don't know if I'm going to do it again before Saturday. It's just too hard not knowing.

3dp5dt

I have read tons and tons of blogs and forums about IVF ever since we started our own treatment. I hoped to find some answers to my questions. But one thing I never liked about any of these were all those abbreviations. BFN, 2WW, POAS, FET, ER... So many and only a few are quite useful. Btw (haha) they mean Big Fat Negative, 2 Week Wait, Pee On A Stick, Frozen Embryo Transfer and Egg Retrieval. The only exception I actually like is what I used as a heading for this post. 3dp5dt means 3 days post 5 day transfer. It's just too long, haha.
So that's where I am right now. Three days after the embryo transfer. It's also ten days after my trigger injection so technically hCG in it should be out of my system. So...tomorrow I could try home pregnancy test (HPT) for the first time. I know, I should wait another 7 days but it's too tempting. I've had lower belly pain for last two days and today I got quite sick in Tesco but you can never know if it's a good sign or a bad one. Everyone is different and everyone's got different symptoms whether it worked or not. Some of us don't get any at all. I wish my belly ache meant implantation cramps. I asked Rick if I could try the pregnancy test and he said no. He's the one who's counting down the days though, haha. These two weeks are definitely very stressful, I could never imagine how much before I experienced it myself. It is like a roller coaster, yesterday I was adamant that both embryos would implant but today I felt like it's not going to work. We have to stay positive and I must persevere and not use the test before next Saturday.

Embryo transfer, Day 5

I can't explain how nervous and anxious I was this morning. We didn't have to get up until 9am as we are supposed to be at the clinic for 12pm but I was awake since around 6am. I was so scared the phone would ring. Before today, I was expecting the phone call quite eagerly, to hear how our embryos were doing. But today if the phone rang, it would mean that none of our three embryos survived, that they stopped developing and there would be no transfer. It was quite nerve-wrecking.

It is 10am now so I'm quite confident that everything is fine and the transfer will take place.

As of about 12:40pm I am officially PUPO!! That means pregnant until proven otherwise, haha. Today it went very quick, we arrived just before 12, had a little talk with a nurse who gave me some paperwork and two home pregnancy tests. A little wait in the waiting room with full bladder, hoping for a quick procedure and then going to toilet. All good, another nurse took us both through to the procedure room/mini theatre and sat us down again. Embryologist came and told us news about our embryos. She knew we originally wanted just one put back in but based on the quality of our embryos, she recommended to put 2 back in. On day 5, embryos should be in the stage of blastocyst, no visible cells, just nice little circle. Our embryos were a bit behind, they were compacting morulas, which is normally a stage of development on day 4. That's why they think the pregnancy has more chances with two embryos in without too big risk of having twins.
The transfer itself took just a few minutes and was performed by the same doctor who did my egg collection. I wasn't happy about it as I developed quite strong antipathy for her but this time she was considerably gentler. Maybe because Rick was sitting next to me. We could see everything on the ultrasound monitor but there is not much to it anyway. I kind of thought that I would feel different after, a bit more pregnant if not anything else but no. I feel exactly the same as I did in the morning or yesterday or last week. Hopefully it comes later.
Now we have to wait 10 days (today is day 5, pregnancy test is done on day 15) till we find out whether it worked. Fingers crossed.

Waiting game continues

I'm not sure it was Katie who called today but that's not important. The important thing is that all our three embryos are developing! Two are a bit ahead so we were told that if we wanted to put two back in, we should have the transfer today. If we wanted just one, then we are going to do day 5 transfer on Wednesday. We did talk about it with Rick and originally wanted just one but would listen to their advice. I was told based on the embryo quality they recommend one because I'm still young and this is our first cycle as well. So we are not going to the clinic today. I was told there is still chance all the embryos might stop developing but I decided that is not going to happen and we will go there on Wednesday and everything will go well. So as always, fingers crossed.

Waiting game

Katie called me at 8:20ish to tell me that all three embryos are still doing well!!! Yay! :) We're doing the same as yesterday, nurses are going to call later today to pre-arrange appointment for tomorrow (day 3) transfer but we will still get a call tomorrow morning to see if we can still do day 5. Fingers crossed and Happy Valentine's Day!

How many fertilised...?

I just got a phone call from Katie, a member of embryology team at the clinic. Out of my 12 collected eggs they were able to ICSI 6 of them and 3 fertilised. Not the result I was hoping for. :( But still, some did fertilise so yay! :)

There are two options now: we either wait and proceed with day 5 blastocyst culture as intended or we can do tomorrow (day 2) transfer. I couldn't really decide on the spot without talking to Rick first so we agreed on a compromise. The nurses are going to call later today and pre-arrange an appointment for tomorrow transfer but I will get a call tomorrow early morning to see if all three fertilised eggs are still developing nicely. If they are, we will still plan to go for day 5 transfer. If they are not, if one or two of them are slowing down or stopped completely, we will transfer tomorrow. So now we wait again with fingers crossed.

Just before 1pm a nurse called and in case of tomorrow transfer we are to be at the clinic at 10:45am. It is now up to our three little embryos really, whether we are going there tomorrow or Wednesday. We will see.

Egg collection aka Day 0

We just got back from the clinic where I had my egg collection (retrieval). We got there early, just before 8am and there were already so many people coming to have their procedures done. Fortunately I was the first to go from our room, second of the day. They showed me my little place behind curtains, there was no bed but a recliner chair, quite comfy actually. The nurses measured my blood pressure, took my temperature, had a little chat about allergies, just normal stuff really. Then I was given a pill to make me feel a bit more relaxed although I don't think it worked very well. I was also given an ibuprofen suppository which wasn't pleasant at all but nothing terrible either. You get used to 'that feeling' after a few minutes.
They came to collect me at about 9:20am. Wheeled me to the theatre, the nurse didn't let me push myself, haha. Everybody was ready for me, I got on the table and they put cannula in. It took a while because my veins are quite rubbish but it was done the first time. It was go time. The nurse put the first bit of sedation in, I started feeling a tiny bit dizzy after a minute. Then the doctor 'shoved' something big inside me, no idea what that was and she wasn't gentle at all either. Then she injected the local anaesthetic on both sides of the cervix and we were ready to start the collection itself. Then the nurse put another bit of sedation through my cannula. The procedure didn't hurt but in wasn't exactly comfortable. I could feel some pressure in my lower belly, some stinging, quite a lot of stuff was going on in there. It was done in about 30 minutes. Got some antibiotics (suppositories again, apparently everybody gets them). I was told still in the theatre that they got 8 eggs so far but still need to check one last tube. They wheeled me back to the room and gave me a hot chocolate with a warm croissant and blackcurrant jam (yummy, my favourite). After that I had a little sleep, Rick told me it was almost an hour. Then they told me to go to toilet if I can to see that I have no problems with passing urine and then the nurse took the cannula out and I was good to change and be discharged.
They collected 12 eggs in total. Yay! We will get a call from embryologist tomorrow to see how many of them fertilised (on average around 70%). If it is less than 4, they will probably do day 2 transfer which would be Sunday. If 4 or more fertilise, we will aim towards day 5 blastocyst transfer which would be Wednesday.

Trigger time!

I wanted to bet Rick for a fiver that today was not the last scan before egg collection. I'm glad he didn't because I would have lost. Yes, today was the last scan and it's trigger injection time which means the egg collection will take place on Friday. Yay! I'm happy also because I haven't been feeling well, my lower belly hurts and I feel sick quite often. No wonder as I was told my ovaries are now the size of a small orange and normally they are the size of a grape! Also the vaginal scans were becoming quite painful and very uncomfortable.

There is one follicle over 19mm in my left ovary, one over 18mm in my right one and then smaller ones varying in size below 18mm all the way to 12mm and some smaller ones as well. Nurse Zoe said it looks very good, the growth has been steady and I'm in very low risk of OHSS. She took my blood just to check my hormone levels and now I'm waiting for a call from the clinic to tell me what time exactly I'm going to take the trigger injection (Ovitrelle) and what time to come on Friday for the procedure. Our treatment plan is ICSI + blastocyst culture so we should be coming back on Wednesday (day 5) for the transfer if everything goes well as egg collection is considered day 0.

Update: I got my phone call a few minutes ago. I'm going to take the Ovitrelle injection exactly at 9:30pm and we're supposed to be at the clinic at 8:15am on Friday so I'll go in the theatre probably around 9am as the trigger is supposed to be taken exactly 35-36 hours before the procedure because it causes the egg to ripen but they need to be collected before they are released and therefore lost. Rick is not overly happy because it takes us around an hour to get ready plus the drive so will have to get up at 6am.

Stimulation, Day 9

So today is my S9 and we went back to the clinic for another monitoring scan. Today I was seen by nurse Sue even though I did glance nurse Zoe. I prefer Zoe because she talks me through the scan and seems that doesn't mind my curious questions (how can she count the follicles when there are so many, how does the vaginal ultrasound work, what is what on the monitor...) but Sue was nice as well. Just kept everything to herself.
Nothing amazing happened really, I have 18 follicles in my right ovary and 11 in my left one. A few are floating around 15mm, next few around 10-11mm, some in between and then there are a lot of smaller ones. Lining was about 9,2mm thick and nurse Sue said anything above 8mm is good. So check there. I finished my Gonal F pen yesterday so got a new one. I'm continuing 112,5 IU and 20 IU of buserelin and coming back for another scan on Wednesday.

Stimulation, Day 6

I accidentally deleted my post from 31/01/16: Stimulation, Day 1. :((( I'll just write a few things I remember. We started the stimulation phase on Sunday 31st January. That means I started injecting 112,5 IU of Gonal F as well as lower dose (20 IU instead of 50) of buserelin. Gonal F contains a type of FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) which is basically boosting my ovaries into making several follicles each hopefully containing an egg. The lower dose of buserelin is preventing the follicles from maturing too early and releasing the eggs before the egg collection and therefore lost for this cycle.
I wasn't afraid of the injection at all, it's already pre-filled pen so you just have to put a single-use needle on it and adjust the dose to the correct number. I've read the leaflet, I have the little poster they gave me blue-tacked above my chest of drawers, where I've set up my injection station, the nurses showed me how to do it but I ended up with the pen in one hand ready to inject and the instructions in the other flipping through the pages just to make sure I screwed the needle on correctly. I was nervous because it is an important part of the procedure, the number of eggs will depend on whether I am able to do the second injection correctly like the first one. At the end I managed to perform and all went well. So for the next week and half or so it will be two injections a day at 7:30pm. Yay.

Today is my S6 (6th day of stimulation phase, have had 5 doses so far). We went back to the clinic for our second scan, first one after baseline. Met the same nurse as last week and her name is Zoe. I had to look at her name badge but got it at the end. Today it wasn't as busy at the outpatients but ended up waiting half an hour before being called through. We didn't mind though, no rush. It's just that every time someone comes to the waiting room, everyone looks up in case it's a nurse calling them. It's like a room full of meerkats.

The scan itself and the talk after with the nurse was again quick. She said my lining is thickening nicely, which is good. Then she saw 3 follicles in my right ovary over 10mm and one 11mm one in my left ovary. Plenty of smaller ones. Good news for us. I honestly didn't understand how she could see any follicles last time and count them, I just saw grey colour here, darker there and lighter again. Nothing that looked like... something. Today I saw these big black circles inside me. I'm quite surprised that I'm not bloated. I have read on loads of IVF blogs that a lot of women suffer from constipation and/or bloating (and I also think I've read it in the drug leaflets in side effects part). I do get the odd headache or bellyache or I feel a bit sick sometimes in the evening but that might be completely unrelated to the drugs. Anyway, I'm reacting well to the drugs and both ovaries joined the party. I was told to stay on the same doses of both Gonal F and  buserelin and will be coming back for another scan on Monday. Nurse Zoe is expecting my follicles to grow to about 14-15mm by then and they need to be approx.18mm before the trigger shot. So we will see if the follicles are growing slow and steady or whether they are going to be bigger on Monday already. In that case they will consider me for the trigger shot earlier. Happy days. :)